Postpartum OCD: Managing Motherhood
Every mom deserves…
By getting help, you are doing the best thing for you and your baby.
Hi, and welcome to today's episode where I'm going to be reviewing Postpartum OCD, and I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas. At the time that I'm recording this, it's the end of December 2023.
1. What is postpartum OCD?
With postpartum OCD, it is an episode or a particular subset of OCD where a woman is experiencing fears, worries, obsessions, as well as certain checking behaviors That are all centered around her newborn. baby. I want you to know that you are already an awesome mom. You taking the step to get help is showing how much you care about yourself and your baby and you're modeling such great things and it's wonderful to see Moms get the support they need.
Hi, I'm Erin, Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor and OCD Specialist. I'm also a Christian, [00:01:00] wife, mom to three, and small business owner, helping those who are overwhelmed by stress to climb out of that valley and enjoy the view. Reheat your coffee and pop in your AirPods to learn how to boss up to OCD.
2. What are unique postpartum OCD symptoms?
Let's talk about what is unique with the postpartum OCD and the uniqueness of the OCD symptoms. A postpartum woman is experiencing worry and stress about the baby, right? So, let me give you a few examples of what these worries might look like:
· someone dropping the baby
· the baby will get sick
· the bottles are not clean enough
· SIDS
· Checking the baby monitor very [00:02:00] often.
It could be a whole slew of worries and a lot of times these worries, they get amped up around the time that mom is finishing her maternity leave. Around this time of year, a lot of moms are going back to work. September is the highest birth month of the year. And likely, a lot of moms have already completed their maternity leave. Which, by the way, maternity leave in the U. S. is not long enough. I hope our government can make some changes, or just our business culture can make some changes because in other parts of the world, you get years of maternity leave so it would be super nice and wonderful and helpful if we could allow moms, or parents in general, to get more time with their newborn baby.
With a postpartum woman who's experiencing the anxiety and OCD her worries, [00:03:00] are bringing intense, frightening, and disturbing images that provoke her nervous system to set off that internal fire alarm, or what I consider the fire alarm. Or you can call it fight or flight. Mom will go to great lengths to get reassurance, she will check things, she will wash things, and overthink to the nth degree to make sure she has cleared the battlefield of dangers.
Other moms who are not experiencing OCD, they can feel satisfied that they cleaned the bottle one time and that's enough, they can wash their hands one time and that's enough, or they can check the baby monitor a reasonable amount of times.
Whenever you are in therapy and working with an OCD specialist, you will be collaborating on what is [00:04:00] reasonable for you. Everyone is unique and I like to take the approach that every client is unique. We are going to figure out a tailored treatment plan to help you reach your goals, to help you live a satisfying life where you are living within your values, getting your needs met, and lowering that anxiety so that you can better deal with the stress.
Other things that I think about that are unique with postpartum OCD is how mom is going to handle the transition of allowing someone else to care for the baby.Even letting the biological father Care for the baby can be troublesome and stressful for a mom, let alone a stranger or a babysitter or a nanny or daycare. Goodness, it's a lot of things that, again, can be stressful just to a normal everyday woman who is new to motherhood. But What I [00:05:00] want to distinguish here between the “normal” and I quote unquote normal because what is normal anyway? But comparing that normal motherhood worry to an OCD worry is that there's a combination of worry and behavior that is taking up more than an hour a day that is centered around that particular fear.
And whether that fear is reasonable or unreasonable doesn't matter, it's still in that time frame of at least more than an hour a day. Again, probably a pretty consistent type of fear as I talked about in my previous episode about intrusive thoughts, normally that intrusive thought is a pretty consistent one.
3. What causes postpartum OCD? Is there a link to depression?
Next, let's review what causes postpartum OCD and if there is a link to depression. Postpartum OCD is typically just an expansion or an exaggerated [00:06:00] expression of OCD because the OCD was already there.
OCD is a shape shifter, and this won't be the last time you hear me say it. OCD is that monster that will latch on to the things you love and will attack the things you cherish.
And when are new moms the most vulnerable? Right after they've had their baby. You know, you want and you hope and you dream that your postpartum recovery and your maternity leave will be full of joy and relaxation. And that's where we can see that the obsessive-compulsive disorder can create quite a slew of problems.
Because not only are you experiencing stress and anxiety, we know that those conditions alone can create restlessness, it can make your stomach hurt. It can make you irritable, more easily frustrated, it can [00:07:00] create a rift in your relationship with your spouse, your significant other, your family, and possibly prevent you from going to work. It has happened. It can happen. And most importantly, it can impact that bond that you have with your newborn child. Causes of postpartum OCD. Going back to that, I want to put out there that likely there was an underlying situation with OCD. This is probably not the first time mom has experienced some episode of OCD.
Normally when I'm working with a mom who is experiencing OCD and we go through the history she will then think back to, “Oh yeah, I did ask for my mom for reassurance for like five times a day until it felt just right,” and that could date back as long and as far back to like fourth grade, first grade you name it, I've heard it.
And OCD [00:08:00] loves to fester and grow in areas where we are vulnerable. Nothing is more precious and vulnerable than our newborn child. All right. And research shows that it's a debate between the nature versus nurture with OCD. Typically, there are genetic links, but that doesn't necessarily mean that just because, let's say, your mom has OCD, that you will also have OCD.So, it just really depends.
I do want to point out that it can co-occur, or what we call in the clinical world, comorbid. It can occur oftentimes alongside another mental health condition, like ADHD, PTSD, and I can get into those similarities and differences in later episodes, or in this case, depression.
A lot of times postpartum moms experience depression. And a [00:09:00] postpartum woman is going through so many changes and challenges in this new phase of life. I mean there's all kinds of wonky hormones, a lack of sleep already because you're having to take care of the baby during the night, or maybe other little ones or other children or other responsibilities on top of the stress of being a new mom, adjusting to this, you know, new mature body image.
I mean, whether we like it or not, our bodies change after we have children and there's naturally a lack of time to get your self-care and all of these factors can ramp up, fuel the anxiety, the OCD and the depression. So, it just inevitably creates this perfect storm and not everyone, not everyone experiences depression just because they have a lack of sleep, or not everyone experiences OCD just because their hormones are out of whack.
So [00:10:00] it really all depends on your brain, and your environment, and your unique situation, and I encourage you to seek help so that you're not self diagnosing, nor are you suffering, and going it alone. You are not alone.
4. How long does postpartum OCD last and will it resolve on its own?
Well, the postpartum era of your life, that's a temporary phase. Postpartum is like the first year after you've had your baby. And, while the postpartum piece will transition naturally with time, the OCD will not.
The OCD is a shapeshifter, and it will morph into a new fear, okay? And if you are one of these, people who has experienced and diagnosed and been treated for OCD, you know that your [00:11:00] OCD fears have changed after a certain amount of time like maybe you resolved a certain phobia and then it changed to another.
With the Postpartum OCD mom we've got the baby who is growing up and maturing, they are reaching their milestones of smiling, babbling, walking, talking, but mom's brain is running constantly in the background fretting about the next catastrophe or that worry that keeps popping into her mind. A lot of times moms, we tend to put ourselves on the back burner when it comes to getting help and it's too bad when we've spent many years in this silent struggle before we go to seek help. So many of my clients enter treatment when their child is five, seven, [00:12:00] or nine years old and they regret that they didn't start treatment sooner.
All of these ladies, whenever we are first getting introduced, and I'm asking them, “What brings you to counseling at this time?” “What do you hope to accomplish?” The common thread that I see running through all of these ladies lives is they all answer with, “I want to be a better mom.” And I want you to know that you are already an awesome mom. You taking the step to get help is showing how much you care about yourself and your baby. You're modeling such great things. It's wonderful to see Moms get the support they need. And with these moms that are coming into treatment, they recognize how their OCD really deflated their joy, and they couldn't thrive in their bond with their child.
Too many [00:13:00] people, you've probably heard this cliche saying of “Time will heal all wounds,” and that is not the case for OCD. Unless you complete OCD treatment and learn the skills to boss up to OCD, OCD will continue to be your master.
5. Are there unique treatment approaches for this type of OCD?
Okay, in closing, yes, there are unique treatment approaches. Every OCD patient that comes into treatment will receive their own set of treatment goals. The gold standard for OCD treatment is exposure and response prevention or what we call ERP.
ERP includes like writing down the worst case scenario and reading it out loud until your anxiety comes down. And we can totally get into more specifics if you're someone who is struggling with postpartum OCD. We can get into the specifics of [00:14:00] what your exposure and response prevention exercises would look like during a consult.
In general, we talk about the level of distress that you are experiencing. So it's a scale of 1 to 10: 10 being the highest where you know, you're overwhelmed, it's panic attack mode and 1 is little to no anxiety.
With the exposure and response prevention, we will create a hierarchy or a build up, kind of, think about it like a pyramid or a set of staircases so we will take those steps, starting from small fears and progressing to bigger fears, all with the support and confidence that you need. Again, you are not alone.
And during the exposures, you're not allowed to engage in the compulsion or the behavior that you would normally do to ease your fear. [00:15:00] With the unique treatment approach too, we will discuss what is going to work for you and what your fears are centered around and we will assess is this reasonable.
One of the tricks you can use in understanding if this is rational and reasonable is you can ask yourself, “What would 100 other people say about this?”
It reminds me of Family Feud where Steve Harvey says, “We asked 100 men, and…” you know, so give yourself a little trivia and ask yourself what would 100 other people say about this? That can be a great way to guide you in recognizing, “Yeah, maybe I am being a little bit unreasonable.”
If you are a mom or you're someone who is struggling with OCD, I encourage you to go to my website at valuedriventherapy.com and click, “Book Your Consult,” to get started with therapy today.
Come back next week, when I [00:16:00] talk about Health OCD. Health OCD is that subset of symptoms where you are worried or researching fears about having a chronic medical condition. We’re coming up on the new year and there is a lot of focus on being healthy. We will talk about the difference between what's normal and what crosses the line into OCD territory.
No matter the case, we will help you find that balance of what's reasonable and rational so that you can live your life and bond with your baby and make beautiful memories together.
Thank you for listening to today's episode. This information is intended to be helpful and not a substitute for professional counseling. Before you go, kindly leave me a five star review and check out the links in the show notes to see the products that can make your story better. Small business dreams happen.
Take care and see you next time.[00:17:00]
