Managing the Secrets of Suicide OCD
https://youtu.be/c3cTMHp4-Zk
Ever stared off a balcony and thought, 'What if I jumped?' or saw a train and imagined yourself jumping in front of it? Welcome to the murky waters of Suicide OCD. I'm Erin, a licensed clinical mental health counselor and certified OCD specialist. Join me as I explain Suicide OCD—how it differs from general suicidal ideation, the intrusive thoughts and images you grapple with, and most importantly, how to reclaim your peace. We'll tackle the importance of professional support, explore coping versus compulsions, and break down evidence-based treatments through rebellious sarcasm and tough love. Ready to get your life back? Let's do this!
00:34 Trigger Warnings and Mental Health Support
01:21 Exploring Suicide OCD
02:01 Intensive Outpatient Program for OCD
03:35 The Impact of Suicide
04:08 Statistics and OCD
05:29 Remembering Robin Williams
06:52 Suicide OCD vs. Suicidal Ideation
11:54 Obsessions and Compulsions in Suicide OCD
15:59 Coping Mechanisms vs. Compulsions
19:41 Seeking Help and Treatment
#SuicideOCD #MentalHealthSupport #Therapy #SafetyPlan #SeekHelp #SuicidePrevention #CopingStrategies #MentalWellBeing #SupportAvailable #ObsessionsAndCompulsions #SpecialistTreatment #SuicideHotline #EmergencyHelp #youarenotalone
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Suicide OCD
[00:00:00] Erin H. Davis: We're partnering with NoCD to raise awareness about OCD. OCD is more than what you see on TV and in the movies. Imagine having unwanted thoughts about your relationship stuck in your head all day, no matter how hard you try to make them go away. That's Relationship OCD. It comes with unrelenting, intrusive images, thoughts, and urges about your partner or loved one.
[00:00:24] Erin H. Davis: Breaking the OCD cycle takes effective treatment. Go to nocd. com To get evidence based treatment. This episode may contain triggering comments. I encourage you to seek professional mental health support. If you are experiencing suicidal ideation, please go to your nearest emergency room or call 9 1 1 or contact the National Suicide Hotline at 988.
[00:00:55] Erin H. Davis: Hi, I'm Erin, Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor and OCD Specialist. I'm also a wife, mom to three, and small business owner, helping those who are spiraling from intrusive thoughts to come out of that valley with long term recovery and self awareness. Reheat your coffee and pop in your AirPods to learn how to boss up to OCD.
[00:01:21] Erin H. Davis: Have you ever been on the edge of a balcony and felt the urge to jump off? music ends If you ever been at a subway station and thought about jumping in front of the subway, or imagined yourself with a visceral visual image and movie scene playing out of a knife hurting you and ending your life. If so, these could be signs of the suicide OCD.
[00:01:46] Erin H. Davis: These are some of the most distressing signs. Intrusive images, and I'm glad you're here. By you showing up to this episode already shows that you're curious, wanting to learn more, and you're wanting to get help. By having this information, it can empower you to take that next step to enroll in my Intensive Outpatient Program.
[00:02:09] Erin H. Davis: This Intensive Outpatient Program is designed to be three weeks of us meeting one another. One on one, you're getting individualized attention three times a week for three hours at a time. After getting nine hours a week of therapy, plus additional coaching after the session, This can [00:02:30] empower you to get results in as little as three weeks.
[00:02:34] Erin H. Davis: Go to my website at value driven therapy. com and click on the tab that says intensive outpatient program for OCD. There's only one spot available at a time. So snag your spot today in this virtual IOP program. Okay, it's another Friday. So this episode is not encouraged for all audiences. If you're listening in your car and you have little ones or other family members, friends that you don't want to hear this conversation, you can go back to my previous episodes and take a listen to those.
[00:03:04] Erin H. Davis: I've got episode 33 with Sam Temple where we talked about health anxiety. There was a lot of love and likes and comments around the self compassion episode. That's episode number 28, just for starters. So today's conversation is going to be all around the suicide OCD, and it is a, it's a tough one. And like I said in the last episode, I wanted to give you guys time to warm up to me and to my style before I went straight into the heavy stuff.
[00:03:35] Erin H. Davis: I want you to Think for a moment, it may not take you long, how many of you know someone who committed suicide? And then on top of that, how many of you have been impacted and affected by someone committing suicide? To take it even further, how many of you have attempted suicide, but you're still here today?
[00:03:57] Erin H. Davis: Suicide is a growing problem, and it's Something that we really need to bring our attention to and also just have more conversations around. According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, 46 percent of people who die by suicide had a mental health condition, but up to 90 percent experienced a symptom of a mental health condition.
[00:04:22] Erin H. Davis: So basically what that's saying is that of the 90 percent of people that died by suicide, they likely experienced an undiagnosed mental health condition. And we know that for OCD sufferers, At least according to some studies out there, 70 percent of people with OCD remain undiagnosed and untreated. The reason I say that, and I know I'm throwing a lot of stats out here, but it's super important to let you know that someone with OCD is 10 times more likely [00:05:00] to attempt suicide.
[00:05:02] Erin H. Davis: And on top of that, y'all, the scary number to this is that that number Triples over a 10 year span, and that was reported in a study that is published in the National Library of Medicine. So every time I think about suicide, I think about the people I went to grad school with who were saying, like, I'm here to be a mental health counselor because my family member died of suicide.
[00:05:27] Erin H. Davis: Or I think about. Robin Williams. You guys know who I'm talking about, right? He was a lovely actor. So funny. And if it tells you anything about my age, I grew up on Mrs. Doubtfire, Jumanji, and The original Aladdin where Robin Williams was the genie and it's just so special watching those movies and it's also so sad in thinking about how Robin's life ended.
[00:05:56] Erin H. Davis: I still remember the day when I heard the news that he had died by suicide and I, I felt like I was in a fog, like I had lost a childhood friend, someone I had looked up to and watched on the TV screen. And went to, like, all of his movies in the theaters at the time. And in preparing for this episode, I dug a little bit into Robin Williams story, and it turns out that he was actually suffering from a neurological disease called Lewy Body Dementia.
[00:06:26] Erin H. Davis: And that was revealed in his autopsy. So, in honor of his memory, his widow made a documentary about him, and it's called Robin's Wish. And Robin Williams didn't know he was suffering from that form of dementia. If he had known he had that dementia, it may have changed his outlook, his peace. He could have gotten treatment, and thus his life could have turned out much differently.
[00:06:52] Erin H. Davis: As we are talking about the suicide OCD, I want to preface that you are strong and we're going to be talking about the differences between the thoughts of suicidal ideation and the suicide OCD. And I can understand how it can feel very scary to talk to your therapist about these thoughts. And I'll let them know up front, or I would let you know up front that, Hey, my goal is not to send you to the hospital, which is exactly why I designed the Intensive outpatient program because it's like that in between like if you need more than one hour a week of therapy But you don't [00:07:30] need quite need the hospital The IOP program could be a happy compromise.
[00:07:35] Erin H. Davis: And so I let you know upfront what those limits of confidentiality are. And that's where a lot of people get stuck. And of course, if you have OCD, you're asking for all sorts of details and reassurance, and you want to make sure you really know the rules. Truly though, if you're experiencing the suicidal OCD theme, we're going to talk about How these thoughts are affecting you, if you're making plans, or how you feel about the thoughts, if you have any intentions to carry out the thoughts.
[00:08:09] Erin H. Davis: So you're going to get that evaluation. And we'll have a conversation about what your safety plan looks like. So it may sound something like, if these thoughts intensify, or if you think that you're going to truly act on the thoughts, then this is what we're going to do. So in my last episode, where I talked about harm OCD and having aggressive slash violent thoughts towards others, this episode is more about those aggressive slash violent thoughts towards yourself.
[00:08:42] Erin H. Davis: And I want to emphasize that your safety and the safety of others is a top priority. I just want to make it clear that you're not going to stay in a risky situation without getting the proper support and help that you need. Now, most of the time when you are experiencing the suicide OCD, you are feeling distress by the thought.
[00:09:07] Erin H. Davis: And that distress can feel like a shock or a surprise. Or, like, as some of you may know, like the cognitive dissonance where it's like you are holding multiple thoughts at the same time that conflict with one another and don't quite make sense. So the thought of, what if I picked up that gun and hurt myself, or may not even play out as a what if in your mind, it may play out as a movie scene.
[00:09:37] Erin H. Davis: And, so when that happens and that. flashes across your mind. You're thinking, but wait a second. I, I don't want it in my life. I love my life. And so you're in that like fog of disconnect and you're thinking like, what is happening in my brain? Is this really me? Am I wanting to do this? And so that's just some of the signs of the suicide OCD.[00:10:00]
[00:10:00] Erin H. Davis: As you can see that it brings stress. Now, someone who is depressed, there are of course all sorts of variations. of how the suicidal thoughts can show up and how they can form and take place, but in general terms here, someone who is depressed, they may consider suicide as a relief or as a solution. They are not necessarily stressed out by the idea of ending their life.
[00:10:34] Erin H. Davis: Now, they truly don't want to. They want to live and be happy. That's my belief. But for today's focus, we're going to highlight What some of those suicidal thoughts can look like when it's showing up in the form of OCD and what those compulsions will look like. We're partnering with KnowCD to raise awareness about OCD.
[00:10:58] Erin H. Davis: OCD is more than what you see on TV and in the movies. Imagine having unwanted thoughts about your relationship stuck in your head all day, no matter how hard you try to make them go away. That's Relationship OCD. It comes with unrelenting, intrusive images. Thoughts and urges about your partner or loved one.
[00:11:18] Erin H. Davis: If you think you may be struggling with relationship OCD, there's hope. NoCD offers effective, affordable, and convenient OCD therapy. NoCD therapists are trained in exposure response prevention therapy, the gold standard treatment for OCD. With NoCD, you can do virtual, live, face to face video sessions with one of their licensed specialty trained therapists.
[00:11:41] Erin H. Davis: It's affordable and they accept most major insurance plans. Breaking the relationship OCD cycle takes effective treatment. To get started with NoCD, go to nocd. com slash savage. So, more often than not, the suicidal OCD, it tends to show up like the pure O, which means like you're purely obsessing over the thought, and the obsession is the thought or feeling that is creating a lot of stress for you.
[00:12:13] Erin H. Davis: The other part of the purely obsessional OCD or pure O for short is that you're mostly going through the mental rituals or like basically your compulsions are not as, you're not showing them on the outside as often and I [00:12:30] can see why, right? And you probably can understand that too or if you're experiencing that, you know exactly what I mean.
[00:12:36] Erin H. Davis: When I say like, you're not going around asking. Your family members or your friends like, Hey, have you thought about killing yourself today? Is it weird that you think about jumping off a bridge? You know, that's not a normal conversation, which is exactly what OCD thrives off of. It thrives off darkness and you staying quiet, avoiding things, not opening up.
[00:13:03] Erin H. Davis: And it is a silent struggle within. So with the Obsessions. It could look like that fear of losing control and hurting yourself. It could be you doing that mental rehearsal or doubting yourself about your intentions of like, Oh, if I'm thinking about suicide, does this mean that I actually want to do it?
[00:13:28] Erin H. Davis: Or you've got this fear of acting on your thoughts. Like what if I can't resist the urge and I actually end up hurting myself? Or maybe another thought of what if I do jump off that balcony? What if I accidentally do something that does impact in my life? And, you know, I didn't even realize this was a cause for concern until I read.
[00:13:55] Erin H. Davis: Online that someone died from this like they put a fire inside of their tent while they were camping These people who were camping they put their fire with inside of their tent and they died from carbon monoxide poisoning I didn't even know that was a thing in the tent Like I thought you know, there could be some air circulating somehow, but never thought about that before so that could create some distress very easily of like What if I'm ignorant about something and I accidentally caused my death?
[00:14:25] Erin H. Davis: So it can also be just pretty alarming at how fragile our bodies can be and so that creates uncertainty and doubt and it can further lead you down the path of worry and the cycle of death. The different what ifs or the different movie scenes and in continuing the examples, it could be like, what if I'm not safe alone?
[00:14:49] Erin H. Davis: That's the obsession, right? That you don't feel safe by yourself. And so you're going to have someone else with you or nearby because that's what helps you [00:15:00] feel comfortable just in case you quote unquote lose control. Another thing that my clients bring and worry about is just having these thoughts.
[00:15:11] Erin H. Davis: mean that I'm mentally unstable or that I'm dangerous? And then the other follow up questions they have is, Will I always have these thoughts? Is there a way I can get rid of them? And remember, intrusive thoughts go against what you truly love and value. In this scenario, we may reframe it as, Huh, OCD is attacking your value of your life.
[00:15:37] Erin H. Davis: It sounds like you enjoy living and you want to live a long and fulfilling life. Now, moving on to the compulsions, these are the actions or the behaviors or the reassurance that you're doing to try to get relief from the stress that the thoughts bring you. And I just want to share too that we all find ways to cope and feel better, but the difference between coping with something versus having a compulsion is really about your intentions and motivations.
[00:16:13] Erin H. Davis: So yes, in both scenarios, you want to feel better. But with the coping mechanisms, it's like you're choosing to do these things to help yourself find relief. And most of the time, the coping mechanisms are healthy and they're in line with what you're needing and they bring you comfort in a constructive way.
[00:16:38] Erin H. Davis: The compulsions on the other hand, they're driven by this involuntary need that you need to do something to get relief. From your obsessive thoughts and oftentimes the compulsions, they are not directly correlated to the thoughts. So, for example, you walking evenly, right? I have heard this where people will make sure that they walk evenly.
[00:17:07] Erin H. Davis: An even number of times and so that they're not lopsided or unbalanced because this can mean Something bad in their near future. So the other thing with compulsions is they tend to be excessive It's not really like oh i'm going to do a deep breathing exercise and then i'm better like no you are researching for hours [00:17:30] Or you're giving yourself constant reassurance Of I would never end my life.
[00:17:36] Erin H. Davis: I would never kill myself. I love who I am. I would never hurt my family like that and on and on you go Trying to calm your mind, but it doesn't get quiet. It doesn't calm down. The volume is still Very loud the other compulsions you do is you're monitoring your feelings like like a hawk, right? Like you are so focused On these thoughts and you're assessing Am I really wanting to do this?
[00:18:04] Erin H. Davis: Does this mean I'm getting more dangerous or I'm in an unsafe situation? And back to the example I was giving earlier in the obsessional realm, you know, when you're worried about being by yourself, the compulsion would then to be have someone by your side. Now, if you're having a suicide watch, yes, you do need that for safety reasons.
[00:18:28] Erin H. Davis: Whenever you're working with an OCD specialist, you can start to work through these troublesome thoughts, see the difference between reasonable doubt and obsessional doubt. The other compulsion you may do is you're going to avoid dangerous objects. Makes sense, right? Like, hey, if I'm worried about stabbing myself or slitting my wrist, then I'm going to put the knives away.
[00:18:55] Erin H. Davis: Or if I'm worried about a gun, I'm going to get rid of the gun. I'm going to disarm the weapon, et cetera, et cetera. Now there's definitely a time and a place for a safety plan. No doubt about it. But this is where it's very important to work with a specialized therapist who treats OCD because they can collaborate with you on what's going to work for you.
[00:19:17] Erin H. Davis: And a lot of times I see people confessing their thoughts in these online Facebook groups and these confessions are only fueling the OCD. And I'm planning on doing a whole episode about confessionals as a compulsion. So all in all, I've seen too many times where people go to the hospital. During like a panic attack or a very intense episode of intrusive thoughts, when in fact it's very treatable and can be treated in an intensive outpatient program without fully disrupting your life through a [00:20:00] hospitalization experience.
[00:20:02] Erin H. Davis: And so while suicide OCD can feel very distressing and time consuming, or lonely, embarrassing, shameful, I mean, let's be real, thinking of ending your life is deeply saddening. And it's not something that you want to do. And so next week, I'm going to be talking about what those treatment strategies may look like while also continuing the series of this harm OCD theme.
[00:20:32] Erin H. Davis: But all in all, if you truly feel like you are of serious harm to yourself, like if I were to ask you all in all, if you feel like you are of serious harm to yourself, call the suicide hotline at 988 or go to your nearest emergency room or dial 911. 911. If you've been struggling with OCD, haven't gotten treatment, or you're struggling with a suicide OCD, help is available.
[00:21:00] Erin H. Davis: You do not have to struggle alone. And this can be a very challenging cycle to get out of, especially by yourself. And it's okay to come to therapy. It's okay to get support and resources. And know that whenever you're working with an OCD specialist, this doesn't mean that Like a don't pass go, go straight to the hospital type of scenario.
[00:21:28] Erin H. Davis: This is an opportunity for you to get help in the treatment and the quality of life that you deserve. We're partnering with NoCD to raise awareness about OCD. OCD is more than what you see on TV and in the movies. Imagine having unwanted thoughts about your relationship stuck in your head all day, no matter how hard you try to make them go away.
[00:21:52] Erin H. Davis: That's Relationship OCD. It comes with unrelenting, intrusive images, thoughts, and feelings. And urges about your partner or loved one, breaking the OCD cycle takes effective treatment. Go to n ocd.com to get evidence-based treatment. So suicide Prevention Awareness month is happening next month in September.
[00:22:17] Erin H. Davis: I hope that this discussion today already helps you feel informed and empowered. about suicidal OCD. And again, the suicidal OCD, it can [00:22:30] take the form of obsessions and compulsions, or it's usually centered around just purely obsessional thoughts of like, what if I hurt myself, or the images of actually ending your life in some egregious way.
[00:22:48] Erin H. Davis: And whenever these thoughts. images and urges come up, it brings you stress. And again, if you're in that situation and struggling with suicidal OCD, you can go to my website at valuedriventherapy. com and click on the tab that has intensive outpatient program for OCD and sign up for the virtual individual One to one program where it's designed to give you symptom relief and improvement in as little as three weeks because we're going to be meeting three times a week, Monday, Wednesday, Friday for three hours for three weeks.
[00:23:27] Erin H. Davis: And remember, there's only one spot available at a time. And remember that I'm here for you, and you don't have to face this alone. Thank you for listening to another episode of Bossing Up Overcoming OCD. This information is intended to be helpful and not a substitute for professional counseling. If you're struggling with any mental health challenges, I encourage you to seek help from a qualified therapist or healthcare professional.
[00:23:55] Erin H. Davis: If you enjoyed today's episode, please take a moment to rate and review the show. Your feedback helps us reach more listeners, and don't forget to check out the affiliate links in the show notes for hand picked recommendations that can brighten your day. Your support through these links helps keep the show running and provide valuable content.
[00:24:12] Erin H. Davis: You're not alone in your journey. Stay strong, stay resilient, and keep bossing up. See you next time.
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