Relationship OCD | Part Two
Do you love your partner?
Or are you just comfortable?
A Spotlight on Love and Behavioral Therapy
Introduction
Love lights up our world, particularly around special occasions like Valentine's Day when we place extra focus on expressing affection to our loved ones. However, for people living with relationship Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (ROCD), love often becomes a complex dance with persistent, intrusive thoughts about their relationships.
Understanding Relationship OCD
ROCD is an OCD subtype revolving around persistent doubts and anxieties about romantic relationships. If you are someone grappling with intrusive OCD thoughts infused with doubts about your relationship and partner's flaws, know that you are not alone.
Firstly, it’s important not to confuse these OCD-triggered hitches with actual relationship problems. Similarly, if you fear you're investing more time and thought into your relationship than your partner, remember that OCD is characterized by intrusive, unwanted thoughts leading to compulsions.
Challenging Relationship OCD Assumptions
To move forward, stopping these thoughts is not the goal; rather, the focus should be on learning to recognize them as just that - thoughts. This is similar to being told not to think about a ‘pink elephant’; regardless of trying not to, you'll inevitably have the pink elephant wandering in your thoughts. This happens, not because you deliberately want to think about a pink elephant, but because human thoughts are uncontrollable to a certain extent.
Embracing Mindfulness and Acceptance
A significant strategy in overcoming relationship OCD involves adopting a sense of mindfulness. An effective practice includes accepting your thoughts as they come, but clarifying that just because you feel something, it doesn't mean it's dangerous, and just because you think something, it doesn't mean it's true.
Challenging Negative Thoughts & Open Communication
Another means to navigate relationship OCD is to constructively challenge negative thought patterns via cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). This process entails considering whether your fears and doubts are reasonable or irrational. Are you focusing on your partner's flaws so much that it's hindering you from seeing your relationship's positives?
In addition, maintaining open and honest communication with each other is crucial. Talking about your worries and expectations eases feelings of uncertainty and minimizes the irrational fears that OCD generates.
Finding The Middle Ground
Therapeutic strategies like exposure and response prevention (ERP) are highly beneficial. In this method, you expose yourself to the triggers inducing OCD and avoid performing the usual compulsions in response. This trains your brain to acknowledge and endure the discomfort triggered by OCD thoughts, eliminating the fear surrounding them in the long run.
Conclusion
Remember that your relationship does not have to defy the gravity of OCD. Acknowledge that every relationship has its flaws, and that's natural. Consider balancing your focus between the roadblocks and the elements that make the partnership enduring and fulfilling.
It is crucial to seek the guidance of an OCD specialist or a relationship counselor to manage and alleviate OCD symptoms. Just like everyone else, people living with OCD have the right to live fulfilling, love-filled lives. With the right resources and conviction, the sky's the limit on what can be achieved in love and wellness.
